I know I’ve not updated for quite a few days. My bad. I could give a lengthy explanation, but that just sounds like excuses in my head, so I’ll just leave it for now.
Who won my last giveaway you ask?? From my Facebook Page likes, JamesApril Daughtery and Carol Castro!!!!
CONGRATS to you all! Please contact me via Facebook or the contact page here on the blog to discuss your winnings 🙂
Now, on to an issue that’s really weighing on my mind daily. Has anyone else noticed how judgmental moms are of other moms????? It is DISGUSTING! I’m really SICK of it!!! I’ve been wanting to approach this issue for a while, then a few weeks ago I’m listening to Christian radio station, WayFM and the afternoon DJ brings up this very topic. She began with how harsh people are on expecting mothers. I know for one I got frustrated during my pregnancy, I just wanted to enjoy this most special, newest, amazing time in my life, a time my husband and I chose for ourselves, and what do I get? What so many people get, horror story after horror story of the awful things mothers can experience in childbirth, the defects a baby can suffer, how hard it is once babies arrive, “a baby changes everything” always spoken in a dreadful, ominous tone. Well guess what, most realistic people expect a few hardships, and most people cannot even begin to imagine what you really go through once you’re pregnant, once you’re in labor, and once you’re up for days and nights on end with an hour of sleep here, and an hour of sleep there while in between you’re baby screams constantly due to constipation, teething pains, gas pains, or just general neediness for mama. But honestly, during you’re pregnancy, you don’t need any of that static. You need to be wrapped in warm, positive vibes in order to have a healthy, happy, as restful as possible pregnancy. Really, you need it. In the Fit Pregnancy issue from last May, there is a whole section on the importance of surrounding yourself with positive energy and positive feedback. If you’re not finding that positive vibe, find a way to break away from the negativity, STAT!
My question here is, why as moms, grandmas, and even the male counterparts, aren’t we initiating this kind of positive feedback for women and men experiencing bringing a child into this world? Why aren’t we celebrating the beauty and miracle that a couple is about to experience? Why the doom and gloom? It’s unhealthy, it’s rude, it’s discouraging and mean! Kids are amazing! Having a baby is amazing! No matter what you go through with babies, they’re worth everything!
So you get past your pregnancy, you deliver your child, now you’re rearing your child. In our wonderful generation, we’re privy to countless labels for parenting styles. Labels. I hate labels. Each style carries with it one connotation or another. People aware of these categories and those who put themselves in one box or another tend to become very “passionate” about their parenting style and very harsh on those who do something different. It’s awful the pressure new moms, any mom, can experience these days. I’m talking die hard attachment parents, parents who think “cry it out” is the only way your child will ever fall asleep, nursing on demand, not nursing, formula feeding, baby wearing…. any choice you make for your child, someone is going to look over your shoulder and judge and predict the child’s entire future based on what you’re doing right now.
I decided to forget parenting books, current moms of babies E’s age, and start asking my mom, grandmothers, and others in those generational age brackets what they did about some of these controversial parenting choices (i.e. feedings, sleep routines, etc.) Now, in my mom’s era of child rearing some parental books did start making an impact, but in my grandmothers’ days? No one called themselves an “attachment parent”, made a big deal about “baby wearing”, co-sleeping, or any of our other “fun” catch phrase thrown about today. You know what people were doing 50+ years ago? Having babies. Raising babies. Meeting babies needs any way they could figure out how. You know how the babies turned out? For the most part, competent adults who raised semi-decent kids who turned into crazy, by whatever new-fangled book or blog they could get their hands on, parents. Now if you followed any of that, what I’m saying is our grandparents did ok. Our parents managed the best they could. We should too. What I think would really help all first-time and 4th or 5th time parents today is to put away the critical looks, the harsh comments, the crazy labels, and support each other! I don’t care what parenting style you’re trying to go by, having a baby and raising a baby is not a cake walk. Kids take time, all your time. Babies cry, they poo, they need to eat, they get cold, they get hot, they need to cuddle, they need to sleep sometime, and sometimes they need help getting to sleep. All parents have to meet their children’s needs one way or another, and it is going to wear on them. Give the parent next to you a smile instead of a back-handed “helpful” suggestion or critical look hidden behind a frosty smile. We should be on the same team, in the same club. We should celebrate that we brought fresh, beautiful, impressionable young lives into this world, and help each other treasure these special gifts.
My grandparents child rearing was about results, not some special secret method. My grandmothers reared their children with love, instincts, and a firm hand when needed. What more could a kid ask for?
Thanks for reading. Go encourage a fellow parent today! Congratulate a pregnant mom. Embrace your parent or grandparent for surviving you!!
*****My post is not written with a blind eye to real societal issues children face in this world. I know there is abuse, neglect, starvation, and other horrendous scenarios facing people from every generation. If you feel someone you know is experiencing any of these terrible things, get help, ok? But if all the person next to you is guilty of is trying their best, and their best happens to be different from how you’re parenting your children, give them a break. Be nice. Be loving. You’re not a perfect parent either.